I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,…they are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights.

Happiness isn’t something you experience it’s something you remember.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I’m going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

So little time and so little to do.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

I once said cynically of a politician, ‘He’ll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.’

I am no more humble than my talents require.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.