A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

All zoos actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

A home is not a mere transient shelter its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn’t know.

JUDGE, n A law student who marks his own papers.

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

We must respect the other fellow’s religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Imagine the Creator as a stand up commedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace in a continual state of alarm (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing them with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind’s eye, and you will be drawn toward it.

Life is a library owned by an author. It has a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.

The steady discipline of intimate friendship with Jesus results in men becoming like Him.

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can’t be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.